I've Got a Right to Sing The Blues
by Saberhagens
Summary: Modern-AU. Kahlan is confused, to say the least. Contains Richard/Kahlan and Cara/Kahlan.


_Summary: Modern-AU. Kahlan is confused, to say the least. Contains Cara/Kahlan & Richard/Kahlan._

_Richard may be slightly OOC at times, but if one reads on, its necessity will become clear._

_Song title prompt: I've got a right to sing the blues by Sam Cooke_

_Disclaimer: If only…_

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**I'VE GOT A RIGHT TO SING THE BLUES**

* * *

She'd gotten the text around midnight: _You up?_, it read.

Translated to booty-call: _Care to play a round of 'bury the bone'?_

She had stared at the text for a while, not knowing what to do next. It wasn't right, continuing this. He was growing attached and, she thought regretfully, so was she. Kahlan liked him and all. He was sweet, curiously charming and funny; but he wasn't Cara.

She didn't want to hurt him. Kahlan sat there a long time, just thinking; she thought about all the repercussions. She thought about possibly hurting him. She thought about the names that would be carelessly thrown out to describe her. And then she thought about Cara: her rare smile, even scarcer laugh… and her girlfriend. And Kahlan pondered no longer.

She and Richard had been friends since before either of them could recall. Only recently had it developed into a generous benefits scheme. It was never supposed to be anything else.

Eventually, she replied: _You know me… damn insomnia._

Within a few seconds of sending: _I'll be there in five._

And there he was. Richard never let her down. As Kahlan opened the door to let him in, he leered at her with that handsome grin of his. It radiated to his deep, deep brown eyes. His hair was a brown - lighter than her own - wavy, messy mop and he reeked of booze.

"How much have you drunk tonight?" Kahlan had asked.

"I dunno, love. Seven or eight…" he trailed off, stepping closer to her.

With a raised eyebrow, "Shots?" she inquired.

He mused softly, "Maybe nine." he finished, diving in for a kiss but left feeling quite deprived as Kahlan turns quickly, sitting at her desk, pretending to check her emails. "Your liver is gonna crawl out of your mouth in an effort to escape."

Richard snorted, moving close enough to rest his hand on Kahlan's shoulder, squeezing just hard enough to let her know just how deprived he was. "I'm fine. Come here." he simultaneously closed the lid of the brunette's laptop and pulled her close, twirling her in the process like some sort of marionette. Their lips finally met and she closed her eyes, trying to ignore the voice in her head. "I miss being alone with you." Richard said softly, as he pulled away, holding Kahlan's hands in his own at chest-level. She stared at them; his hands were rough yet tender to the touch while hers were significantly smaller and smoother than his, yet - both aware - the strength she held in hers could always break his.

She laughed nervously, not knowing what to say: she wasn't sure of herself. Either he didn't notice or didn't care, because his lips were back on hers. Her mind went fuzzy and the voices began to die down. Whatever was happening was finally okay.

Kahlan grabbed Richard's face in her hands, and kissed back forcefully. Pulling away, she smiled mischievously when she realised he was standing with the backs of his knees pressed to her love-seat. Knowing he was drunk, she pushed him backward, and watched him flop onto the piece of furniture.

Richard chuckled slightly, "Is that right? C'mere, you." he popped up in what would have been a perfect sit-up and grabbed her by the wrists, dragging Kahlan down on top of him. What had been chaste kissing had quickly turned into a full-on, heated fondling session. His tongue found hers easily and fought for dominance. She submitted when she felt the familiar easing of guilt in her chest. She bit his bottom lip lightly, and brought herself up to look at him. He had a terribly goofy grin spread across his face. "What?" He asked.

Kahlan shrugged, her arms around his neck as she straddled his lap. "I don't know. I just wanted to look at you." His hands travelled down her back. "You're alright?" she could hear the concern within his voice. She nodded with half a smile, reassuring him as he pulled at the hem of her shirt, guiding her down to his face again for another kiss.

…

After chasing her to her bedroom, restoring various household objects she had clumsily knocked over along the way, Richard flashed his teeth at her again, making his way across the room. The voice started back up again in Kahlan's head, and she could hear a comfortable, sober laughter in the background with it.

Kahlan ripped his shirt off once he was within arm's reach. She needed to feel his skin against hers. She needed her mind to stop. She needed the memories to go away, even just for a little while. She pressed her hands to his chest as he kissed her too softly. They moved quickly backwards, deeper into the room, lips never parting. Kahlan tripped over the rug at the foot of her bed, letting herself fall backwards onto the mattress with Richard in her arms. They both laughed.

Without a word, she wound her arms around his neck, and rather than kissing her, he pressed his forehead against hers.

"Kahlan… do you want to go with me to this thing next weekend?" Richard whispered.

"Depends. What is this thing?" Kahlan's heart was pounding and she felt his grip on her tighten, sensing her heartbeat quicken. The guilt returned and ate a hole through her stomach.

"Well, it's formal. My brother's wedding." She could already hear the fear of rejection in his voice and she held back the urge to weep.

She pulled her head back from his as well as she could given their position atop the bed and stared at him: blue penetrating brown. "That sounds awfully like a couple thing to do."

He looked back, blankly. "I just thought you might like to go. If you don't want to, I'll go alone."

They were upright now, Kahlan sat at the end of the bed with Richard beside her. "Take someone else." she crossed her arms and stared at his perfect body to avoid eye contact.

"I don't want to." he shifted closer to her, reaching out and pulled her chin up to see her eyes. And then, he kissed her, long and deep and sweet. It was almost too much for Kahlan to bear. She didn't deserve it; she didn't deserve someone so kind. The voice grew louder, telling her it needed time, that it had to work on itself.

The fury and sadness within her battled as she tried to block out the voice. She felt the fury winning. Kahlan grabbed his head and kissed him with every ounce of anger that welled up inside of her. Ferocity made her insatiable, and Richard didn't seem to mind. Instead, he pulled her shirt up over her head and laid her on the bed in her red boy shorts and white bra. His lips were everywhere, working their way from her neck and down to her hips. The voice in her head was blurred out by lust and for the first time in a long while, Kahlan was able to focus on reality instead.

Richard crawled up as he kissed his way back up her body, and this time, he stopped by her ear, taking the lope between his teeth and nibbling softly, urging low guttural sounds from deep within her throat. His excitement throbbed between her legs as he remained by her ear, blowing softly. The voice held no place in her world any longer, as if he'd simply known it was there and had chosen to blow it away. They kissed deeply, then deeper still when she reached for his belt.

He rose slightly, relieving his body from the last of his clothing and returned to her, expertly unclasping her bra and throwing it onto the floor to join the rest.

He stilled himself for a moment, leaning up on his elbows above her, searching her face. The voice threatened once more and Kahlan quickly reached down between their bodies and found him, hard and ready.

She used her hand for a moment, stroking him to fuel her own desire, readying herself for the intrusion. A groan escaped his lips and Kahlan hadn't taken her eyes off of his face. His eyes are closed, trying to control himself while she completely yielded to him, letting him have his pleasures, making them her own.

"Kahlan." he breathed roughly, reaching down and halting her hand's movement. "Not fair."

"Life's not fair." she growled, as the voice whispered something about being together eventually… someday.

She relented and removed her hand, letting it join the other in his hair.

"How's this for fair?" she could see Richard smile in the soft glow of light from the moon, and before she was able to register what was happening, he was sliding back down her body, seeking her core.

He pushed her leg up an inch, allowing his arm beneath it to caress her thigh with his hand while the other rested on her belly, hoping to feel the taut muscles tighten with release. At first, he teased her with his tongue, avoiding the sensitive nub until her hips bucked towards him. He granted her mercy then and found her clit, sucking gently, urging her on towards climax. It made her whole body quicker and sent her heartbeat to careen out of control.

One of her hands left his hair and found the bed sheet, grasping it tightly between her fingers, her knuckles turning as white as the linen beneath them.

Richard sighed contently and pulled himself up to rest the side of his head on her stomach, his hands stroking her sides, waiting for her to return to the world.

They remained in that position for a moment longer than either would have liked, before it was too much for Kahlan: the voice increased in intensity whenever she had less to do. She exhaled heavily and stroked his face gently, bringing him back up to her.

"Now." she said and Richard complied, kissing her again, passionately. He repositioned himself and thrust, filling her completely. He tried to make eye contact, which Kahlan again, avoided; this time by closing her eyes and allowing herself to revel in the feeling.

She heard his breathing quicken after a few minutes and she had to wonder whether she'd be able to come again so quickly after the first time, but the doubt faded as she felt herself rising again with him. She grabbed her leg and brought it up to his shoulder, knowing it would drive him over the edge, and it did.

Richard lay on top of her for a bit, simply breathing against her neck. Kahlan lay there beneath him, trying not to think. When he finally rolled onto his back beside her, he turned his head to her, making her do the same. He stared at her, brown eyes so gentle and pleading before he spoke, "Kahlan… I-"

Fearing the words to follow, Kahlan quickly kissed them away. When she pulled back, she saw his heart in his eyes - the heart she knew she owned; the heart she didn't deserve. And as if sensing her sorrow, he wiggled his way under the covers, bringing them up over them both, holding her as if she'd break, because she knew just might.

"Goodnight, Kahlan." He whispered, with a chaste kiss to her forehead.

"Goodnight, Richard." she replied, waiting for him to fall asleep before she pulled the covers up to her chin, hoping a false nun's habit would make her feel better.

Sleep wasn't as kind to her as it was to Richard, for she lay there the rest of the night, listening to the voice.

…

Her phoned buzzed from the nightstand closest to Richard, shocking her out of her reverie, or rather, her misery. Kahlan reached up and over him and picked it up, squinting at the now bright screen.

**CARA: 3 TEXT MESSAGES**

Kahlan opened the first and read: _Dahlia broke up with me. She left me for Triana. Can I call you? _The next two were similar, though less coherent.

Hesitantly, she typed: _Of course._

She carefully stepped out of bed, found her robe and stared down at Richard. The covers had fallen to his hips when she left his arms. He smiled in his sleep, for what, she hadn't the slightest clue. The phone started to vibrate then, and Richard started to shift, opened sleepy eyes and said, "Kahlan? What you doin'?"

"Nothing. A friend just wants to talk. Go back to sleep. I'll be back in a minute." She kissed his cheek and walked out to the living room to answer the phone. The voice that had been in her head for months manifested itself at the other end of the line.


End file.
